ANTM Episode 10: Into the Jungle

Source: By ELIZABETH HAGGARTY

Posted: 05/06/09 10:36PM

Filed Under: Top Model

Crazy in love, crazy rich, crazy happy and then there is just crazy: insane, out-of-control. Turn on America's Next Top Model.

It was my first time watching ANTM. As Tyra Banks flounced her hair, rolled her eyes and “acted” I could only wonder which TV execs thought it was a good idea to hand over a group of young, impressionable wannabes to this retired model. Why are they feeding her delusions of inner fierceness? Why are they enabling a Tyra-loving fashion world?

Now that you understand I watched the entire show in shock, let's get on with it.

Photo Gallery

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Cycle 12 Contestants

Looking back at these gallery images, I would have never pegged Teyona as Top Model. But then again, I haven't understood the past three winners. I never really grasped the Teyona love, even though Tyra and the judges did. Guess that's what really matters.

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There’s a Jeep on fire and Tyra’s wielding a wrench. Feathers are plucked from frightened model’s faces as Miss J. talks in squawks and coos. This isn't a bad dream; it’s ANTM Episode 10.

The girls are still in Brazil. Having already covered the national stereotypes of Carmen Miranda and beach thongs, we are left with Brazilian dance.

Chiki-chiki-toom, chiki-chicki-toom. That’s the sounds of the steps of samba, and as the girls swivel and stagger under the guidance of Paulina you’re forced to listen too it way too many times.

Tonight's episode kicks off with a dance competition that pairs the models with professional dance partners. Allison freezes and looks startled when her partner tries to turn her stumbling into a spin, Aminat swaggers with confidence and allure through her routine, and Teyona shows off her two left feet.

Paulina tells Celia she looks “regal,” code for stiff, before finally losing it with her. “Desperation is not sexy,” she says as she points out again that Celia is too old. (In case you missed the flashbacks of Tyra telling Celia she looks mature and cuts of Celia worrying that she looks too old, Celia looks old. Got that? Old.)

After a second try and Celia writing ‘relax’ on her wrist in the hope that unstrained muscles will give her a more youthful vibe, the granny-faced-blonde giant wins the dance competition and with it $7000 worth of jewelery.

But all that was nothing compared to what was to come.

The next day the girls are woken early by hair and make-up and packed onto a bus, heading for the Brazilian jungle.

Two hours into the journey an overheated Jeep in the middle of the road halts the bus. Rushing to the window, the top four witness steam, smoke and a crazy woman kicking the Jeep’s wheels and banging it with an oversized wrench. Any guess as to who the crazy woman is? Yes, it's Tyra.

Tyra is today’s challenge photographer and she has the girls dress up as birds with huge hair and feathers sticking out of their foreheads. They then have to pose in a nest and… well... I think Tyra explains it best when she tells Allison: “You are a birdie, owl, pterodactyl protecting your babies.”

Allison unsurprisingly looks good as a scared bird and awkwardly tells Tyra she thinks she’s pretty after the shoot.

Aminat again appears disconnected from her body even after Jay shows her how to arrange her face by wiggling her ears (?). Tyra yelling “crouching tiger hidden Aminat,” doesn’t help. Aminat quickly shoots Jay a death look when he wishes her luck combing out her backcombed hair.

Striding onto the set with her yellow lipstick and blue feathers Tyra points out how relaxed Celia looks for the shoot. Celia puts the mood change down to the joy of working with the retired model. What? Didn’t she see her with the wrench?

As the last model to be photographed, Teyona has a difficult shoot, and as the light fades she has to strip off parts of her costume. Tyra wanders into a stream to get the perfect shot.

At the end of the day all of the top four feel comfortable with their pictures, but luckily judgment panel is there to shatter those illusions.

Allison wins the challenge and looks like a scared bird as she is handed her photo of her as a scared bird. Teyona comes in second during the judgment sequence where Miss J. only talks in coos with subtitles beneath.

Aminat and Celia are in the bottom two for having faces that don’t reflect light well or being just too old. Unsurprisingly Celia is out and Paulina considers hiring her as her personal stylist.

Youth triumphs, all of the models apart from Aminat cry, and the model who was too old loses for being...well… just too old.

Random Noticeables:

(This episode was all about the random noticeables)

-- Early on there is a shot of Celia taking a picture of Allison as she tries to spear the pineapple on her head with a fork. This episode gets crazy fast.

-- Tyra needs to stop with the inner fierceness. As she nearly tumbles into a pond while taking photos she quickly reminds herself “inner fierceness” to regain her composure.

-- I thought I’d just mention again that Miss J. only made bird sounds during the judging panel.

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