Fashion Police: Week of July 13

J.K. Rowling
My colleague informed me that J.K. hates attending red carpet events, and it's evident in her pose. She reeks of discomfort and you can practically read her eyes: get me out of here! Sadly, her dress (and apparent lack of 'support') is a bland bit of nothing. She's a multi-millionaire, though, so she can't be bothered that much by it.

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Helena Bonham Carter
Helena is always a mess on the red carpet, so it's not really a shocker that she looks like she just crawled out from a ditch in London, circa 1850. Even her purse is open, and perhaps broken. A strangely hot train wreck.

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Megan Fox
Here's our girl Megan sitting next to the runway for a fashion show. Do you think she knows the camera's on her? Or does she always sit and pose like that? With that lipstick and side-strapped dress, she certainly knows how to vamp.

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L'il Kim
Ever the queen of taste, L'il Kim doesn't really need to be wearing anything. It's all out there for everyone to see. Side note: why is there a tank top, a shoe, a bottle of water, and another piece of clothing strewn on the ground behind her? Weird.

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Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore
Diddy holds his 'White' party every year, and normally it's very ho-hum, but we thought this couple looked very fresh and stylish beside the pool. Gossip naysayers can be bitter all they want - these two look hot.

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Cate Blanchett, Giorgio Armani
At first we thought Cate was attending the Armani haute couture show with a corpse, but then we realized it was Armani himself. Cate is stunning (as usual) in a carefree foliage-designed dress. Giorgio is...tanned.

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Hayden Panettiere
We're sure this floats someone's boat, no doubt about it. But why does Hayden insist on wearing lace lingerie to a red carpet affair? It's classless.

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Marion Cotillard
What is it about the French? Despite the Something About Mary hair and the plain black dress, she looks stunning. Plus, check out those shoes!

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Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Jamie-Lynn has never really shed her Sopranos skin. We wish she would grow up and ditch the Gotti style, and dress in outfits that a teenage girl wouldn't wear to prom.

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Kristin Davis
We're not sure what Kristin is thinking when she wears outfits like this. Someone with such a pencil-like figure trying to add hips with garments is a real shame. So many women in Hollywood would kill for such a naturally-thin frame. Surely Charlotte would not approve.

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