Top Model Episode 9: The Powers of Delusion
Source: By CHRIS JANCELEWICZ
Posted: 11/05/08 10:48PM
Filed Under: Top Model
It seems Tyra's delusion and self-obsession is rubbing off on these girls in a big way - or at least on Elina and Marjorie, who are quickly losing touch with reality. Elina, because she truly thinks she has a chance in this competition (I mean, she's beautiful and all, but crack a smile, hon!), and Marjorie, who literally looks like she's dying everytime she's on camera. The 'pose like the hunchback of Notre Dame' schtick doesn't really work when you actually resemble a gargoyle. She's like an abused dog; she'll never quite come up to you, but will still beg for affection and lap up praise. Unfortunately for her, this is the go-see episode, the exact antithesis of her personality.
Episode 9 - Final Photos |
Her signature look has become the throw-the-head-back pose - and we can't argue with it. It works. |
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PHOTOS |
Tyra steps it up a notch this season, too. The girls are to attend their go-sees by boat via Amsterdam's lengthy canals. They can attend up to 5 designers' studios for a model audition, but there's only one cardinal rule: be back by 5:00. DON'T BE LATE. Get it, girls? The number 5. FIVE. You'd think it would be simple enough.
Too bad for McKey, who shows up late from the go-sees, after rocking each and every one. The designers loooove her face. Incidentally, I don't get that - how can someone with a boxer's jaw have such stunning photos? I'm convinced that the cameras play tricks with her face. That has to be it.
Analeigh is adorable on her go-sees. How can you not love her? She's booked in all three of the auditions she goes to. Samantha overcomes her apparent vacuousness and is actually charming, winning over two of her four go-sees. Elina, overconfident and stern-faced, loses out on two of her four auditions because of her strategically-retarded tattoos. Models don't have big tattoos below their navel, or running up their ulna.
The worst is Marjorie, though, who skulks around Amsterdam like a homeless mime. She gets lost and frazzled, calls it 'the worst day of her life', and keeps talking about her 'insecurities'. For someone who was recently talking about how she has to keep her emotions inside and how wonderful Europe is, she's pretty much done a 180. She has horrific go-sees - probably the worst I've ever seen on Top Model, except for that one chick who asked to keep all the clothes she tried on - and only bothers to go see two designers. Of those, she books zero. That's definitely a number she should try to remember. Analeigh wins the go-see challenge, and as a reward wins over $18,000 worth of designer clothing. No big surprise there, since everyone else's performances were quite weak.
Miss Tyra zooms in to save the day. Not one to share all this camera time with other, lesser-known plebes like Dutch artisans, she decides to take charge of the photo shoot (is it just me, or has she done a lot of that this season?). Using her brilliant - and self-admittedly stolen - idea of taking a a no-makeup shot and then juxtaposing with a glam shot, Tyra snaps some beauties of the girls.
Samantha rocks it, again. I was so wrong about her tonight; I thought she was going home. Instead she looks like a Calvin Klein model. Analeigh does well, as usual, though sometimes she resembles Anna Chlumsky from My Girl. Just sayin'. Marjorie's first shot is great, but then she tumbles into the same super-irritating self-doubt, and essentially chokes herself. But she does well, much to our chagrin. McKey nails it, albeit by flinging herself against an old chain link fence. Tyra loves her rag doll approach. I'll finally admit it, there's something about McKey that's alluring. GAH! I said it.
Elina doesn't fare so well. Her face is like a statue. When Tyra tries to make her act out, Elina flings her leg up on a railing, but it still seems rigid and altogether unconvincing. Immune to criticism, the girl's literally clueless. She thinks she did a great job, and while the rest of the girls are staying up late tossing and turning, she sleeps soundly, dreaming of the lucrative modelling contracts she's going to sign, and maybe the tattoo she'll get to commemorate the occasion.
Not surprisingly, she's in the bottom two, along with Marjorie. This makes the fourth(?) week in a row that Elina's been one of the two - it's gotta be a Top Model record. Even though Marjorie's wearing what looks to be a kindergarten teacher's spandex overalls, and is practically cowering in the corner the whole episode, she remains. Elina is booted off, most likely the tragic result of not listening to Tyra, not listening to Jay last week, and for dressing like a 40-year-old when you're 18.
There's a lesson to be learned from Elina and Marjorie: it's better to be underconfident rather than overconfident. At least with underconfidence people don't hate you, they just pity you and want to give you another chance. Yes, overinflated egos seem to outstay their welcome very easily. Wouldn't you say, Tyra?
Random Noticeables:
-- I loved the designer who was totally unreasonable. He wouldn't book Elina because she had sweat on her back from running to his studio. Dude, it's nature. As if the models aren't sweating under those lights.
-- Is McKey British or something? Did I detect an accent? This shows how little we've heard from her this cycle. And what's even stranger is we still can't tell.
-- Elina's only 18?!?! That was a shocker.
-- Next week Marjorie slips some guy the tongue after downing what looks to be some hard, hard liquor. In front of the whole house. You know where I'll be next week at this time.
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