Hot List

Cyndi Lauper
Train wreck central! From the out-of-control perm to the sheer bra to the shawl to the sagging boobage, this is a nightmare. We love Cyndi and think her music is great, but even in the 80s this outfit wouldn't make the cut.

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Jewel
Aw, Jewel. The colour looks great on you, so we'll give you an A for effort, but it's just too figure skater.

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Katherine Heigl
The dress belongs at a high school prom. Period.

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Amber Rose
Kanye's former girlfriend seeks attention - that's been made clear. We just wish that people didn't sacrifice dignity and self-respect to get that attention. In no universe would that top fit Amber, but sadly we think that's the point. She should have just shown up to the event in her bra. Cuts right to the chase.

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Deidre Hall
WHOA. Sign the Days of Our Lives star up for the retirement home. With that jacket, she's ready.

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Sienna Miller
At first we thought Sienna looked better than usual, but then we looked closer. Note the shirt is almost see-through, the mom jeans have BUTTON-DOWN ankles, and she's wearing potentially the ugliest shoes ever created. Yet another disaster from this UK import.

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Kim Kardashian
Quick - what's Kim's background? Would you believe she's Armenian, and not 100 white like she'd so want you to think? We feel sorry for people who want to hide their ethnicity. With all that shame aside, she doesn't look that bad, except for that T-shirt shoved underneath the dress.

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L'il Kim
Someone help Kim - she was buried in the sand by some very unforgiving person, and only just made it to the event. She brought shells for everyone!

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Venus Williams
Athletes never really know what to wear. It's a shame that Venus seeks to cover up her incredible arms and super-toned legs with this body-length dashiki. She resembles an African queen coming out to greet her subjects.

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Toni Collette
Those gladiator shoulders with ruffles underneath? Blech! Paired with the leggings and ugly shoes? Blech! Get thee to a stylist, Toni!

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J.K. Rowling
My colleague informed me that J.K. hates attending red carpet events, and it's evident in her pose. She reeks of discomfort and you can practically read her eyes: get me out of here! Sadly, her dress (and apparent lack of 'support') is a bland bit of nothing. She's a multi-millionaire, though, so she can't be bothered that much by it.

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Helena Bonham Carter
Helena is always a mess on the red carpet, so it's not really a shocker that she looks like she just crawled out from a ditch in London, circa 1850. Even her purse is open, and perhaps broken. A strangely hot train wreck.

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Megan Fox
Here's our girl Megan sitting next to the runway for a fashion show. Do you think she knows the camera's on her? Or does she always sit and pose like that? With that lipstick and side-strapped dress, she certainly knows how to vamp.

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L'il Kim
Ever the queen of taste, L'il Kim doesn't really need to be wearing anything. It's all out there for everyone to see. Side note: why is there a tank top, a shoe, a bottle of water, and another piece of clothing strewn on the ground behind her? Weird.

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Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore
Diddy holds his 'White' party every year, and normally it's very ho-hum, but we thought this couple looked very fresh and stylish beside the pool. Gossip naysayers can be bitter all they want - these two look hot.

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Cate Blanchett, Giorgio Armani
At first we thought Cate was attending the Armani haute couture show with a corpse, but then we realized it was Armani himself. Cate is stunning (as usual) in a carefree foliage-designed dress. Giorgio is...tanned.

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Hayden Panettiere
We're sure this floats someone's boat, no doubt about it. But why does Hayden insist on wearing lace lingerie to a red carpet affair? It's classless.

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Marion Cotillard
What is it about the French? Despite the Something About Mary hair and the plain black dress, she looks stunning. Plus, check out those shoes!

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Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Jamie-Lynn has never really shed her Sopranos skin. We wish she would grow up and ditch the Gotti style, and dress in outfits that a teenage girl wouldn't wear to prom.

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Kristin Davis
We're not sure what Kristin is thinking when she wears outfits like this. Someone with such a pencil-like figure trying to add hips with garments is a real shame. So many women in Hollywood would kill for such a naturally-thin frame. Surely Charlotte would not approve.

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Ashlee Simpson
You'd think Ashlee would be right at home at a leather party, considering her emo husband Pete Wentz's influence. Instead we get raccoon eyes, a chain necklace, and an ill-fitting bodice. Is this girl good at anything?

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Cameron Diaz
Ever the red-carpet train wreck, Cameron actually doesn't look as terrible as we would expect. It's a nice, clean white dress, perfectly appropriate for such an emotional movie. Sadly, she still looks high on something.

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Kendra Wilkinson
How old is Kendra? Because we swear we saw this same dress on a 5-year-old. Maybe that's part of her appeal. Scary.

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Megan Fox
Megan's been slammin' on the Transformers red carpets, so it was a bit of a shock to see her in this SO-last-year toga gown. Amazing, though, that she can turn a bedsheet into something tantalizing.

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Kristen Bell
Eek! She's gone wrong in so many places we don't even know where to begin. The upper half of the 'dress' looks as if an amateur designer pasted some fabric scraps together at the last minute. We have a feeling she's going to regret this outfit for the rest of her life.

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Rhea Perlman
Housekeeping!

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Shenae Grimes
Remember those 1970s patio furniture cushions? Looks like Shenae's outfit was made out of them.

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Alexis Arquette
Tranny or not, bronze leggings are best left to mythological characters. Or Prince.

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Ciara
Whoops! Seems like Ciara got a memo asking her to wear the least coordinated outfit she could possibly assemble. Patent leather heels, tie-dye leggings, and a too-big wife-beater? Blech!

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Kelly Osbourne
Not sure what look Kelly's going for here, but it screams prom dress. Kudos to her for slimming down so much, though. And her hair looks great.

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